I Hope You Dance!
"As long as you are not doing what it is that you are supposed
to be doing, life will be uncomfortable and offer constant opposition."
-Me
Lee Ann Womack says it best:
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out Reconsider
Give the heavens above More than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you danceTime is a real and constant motion always Rolling us alongTell me who Wants to look back on their youth and wonder
Where those years have gone
I hope you dance
I went to see an outstanding movie this past weekend,
The Family that Preys, starring Kathy Bates and Alfre Woodward. This Lee Ann Womack song is an integral part of the movie and is sung by one of the characters at a very poignant time in the story. It's also the song that played during the closing seen of the movie (sung by Gladys Knight) as one of the characters sets out on a life-changing journey. And yes I cried.
I cried not only because of the emotional content of the film, but because I realized that I have ultimately been sitting it out. I'm functioning like a machine. Take a moment and reflect? Are you doing the same? I wake up each day, shuttle the kiddo out the door, let the dog out, put on the clown suit, curse through the traffic, arrive at the circus (disguised as a job), and put on a show (fake sunny disposition and all) with the other clowns at the office. I trudge through 9 hours and then do it all in reverse to reset for the next day. Insanity!
Now of course some of our behavior can be attributed to the current state of our economy. The majority of us are in survival mode. We are doing any and everything necessary to hang on to our families, jobs, homes, cars, credit, investments, etc. So some robotic-like behavior is expected. But then there is the flip side. Even in this economy there are people who are thriving. Who are these people you ask? They are the ones who never sit it out. They dance and dance hard. They have multiple interests and talents and thrive on variety. They have successfully marketed themselves and diversified so that when one area of their lives is negatively affected by external circumstances, they just switch gears and ramp-up a different module. These people are always exposing themselves to something different and new thus always evolving and morphing.
"Variety is the spice of life because it is the natural enemy of adaptation." This quote is at the top of my favorites. It is by
Jonathan Haidt, the author of "
The Happiness Hypothesis," a must read. Haidt is a professor of psychology who is active in "
positive psychology" which he defines as "the scientific study of human flourishing." I love love love this definition. Before I read this book my mission was to thrive. Afterwards I knew it was imperative that I FLOURISH, which is tantamount to THRIVE.... on steroids.
As life would have it, I read the book, got charged up, things got busy and soon I settled right back into my usual routine. If the methodologies and ideas of a good read aren't put into immediate action, then the words tend to fall right back onto the pages and remain there. NOTE TO SELF: Reread The Happiness Hypothesis!
Maybe you have been feeling a bit of discomfort for awhile. You see, it's starts out as a small twinge. For example, you aren't too excited about rolling out of bed. Or you are at work and you aren't really feeling it. You are doing your job as specified, but the only motivation is that little thing called a mortgage or car payment that keeps you going. This may go on for some years.
Then starts the dull ache. It comes in the form of an attitude. You are not sure why you are snappy or short with co-workers or why the thought of having lunch with your colleagues pisses you off, but you don't want to give them any more of your time than absolutely necessary. You can't put your finger on it, but you continue on business as usual.
THROB, THROB! The ache is gone and it's a full-on throbbing pain. This shows up in the form of a less-than performance review followed-up with an insult of a raise which, when you do the math and factor in the current cost of living and rate of inflation, is not actually a raise at all. In fact, it doesn't even begin to cover your deficits. The icing on the cake is they tell you are lucky to be getting a 0.75% increase, and they are doing YOU a favor. Oh yeah and by the way, they can't afford to hire anyone right now so must continue covering two positions and an increase in productivity and efficiency is your goal prior to your mid-year review. Never mind the CEO's new 2009 BMW 7-series, you just keep at it.
Finally there is the 2x4 to the head. The newbie that's been shadowing you for the past eight months as you prepare to move up because your mid-year review will definitely qualify you for that promotion, is promoted instead because you are much to valuable and they don't want to risk a decrease in the level of productivity and efficiency you've established. Therefore they will reward you by promoting the newbie and making you his direct-report. ONE-TWO-THREE! Ding, ding, ding! TKO'd.
Now this would be a good time to go back to the lyrics of Lee Ann's song:
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistanceLiving might mean taking chances But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake But it's worth making
Time is a real and constant motion always Rolling us along
Tell me who Wants to look back on their youth and wonder Where those years have gone...
Never ignore the feeling of discomfort. Feelings of discomfort are a sign that something is amiss. If you physically incurred a pain that did not subside within a reasonable time or frequently reoccurred, you would head to your physician. Professional pain shouldn't be handled any differently. When it arises take immediate action. Don't wait until it's non-operable.
What kind of action do you take? I've listed some books that may provide the perfect place to find a cure. Remember earlier I mentioned people who thrive during our most rigid circumstances due to their diverse interests and talents? Well those people have written some of the best articles and books on their accomplishments . These authors serve as representation of the power and energy that manifests when you decide to stop ignoring the signs and start doing exactly what it is that you are supposed to be doing. When you do, the opposition ceases and doors just start to open for you.
This is my very long winded way of saying that I'm glad I saw that movie. Very glad. But even prior to that, it is my discomfort and persistent opposition that set me on this path. What will you take from this? What will you leave? Looking forward to your comments.
You're already here..so why not make the most of it!See reading resources below. Clink on links to order.
Happiness Hypothesis - Jonathan Haidt
The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When to Quit (and When to Stick) - Seth Godin (founder of Squidoo.com)
The Secret - Rhonda Byrne
Positive thoughts are powerful magnets that attract wealth, health, happiness...Stumbling on Happiness - Daniel Gilbert
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